Wacky Water Bottle Fiasco

Rania Suleiman, section editor

Today is the day that the brand-new, limited edition light pink Stanley cup comes out. My name is Brenda Smith, and today I will be getting that light pink Stanley. Water bottles aren’t just a jug of water; they are a symbol of status and character. I don’t feel like myself without my water bottle by my side, it’s basically my ID. 

I woke up at 2 a.m. and snuck through the halls of my house so my annoying kids and husband didn’t wake. Target would open right at 7 a.m., and I had to make sure I was the very first one to get this Stanley or else I would not have a water bottle to use. I threw all 67 Hydro Flasks away because those were so five minutes ago. I drove to Target. A few times I reached my cupholder to get a drink from my water bottle, but then I remembered my old Hydro Flask wasn’t there. Soon, I would be able to fulfill this emptiness and dullness I felt inside of me. I just had to get that Stanley. 

When I arrived at Target there were several tents set up outside, it seems like the other Facebook moms beat me to it. I hauled my tent and sleeping bag over to the entrance and unpacked everything. These necessities are always in my trunk for emergencies like this. I wasn’t going to sleep since I had to be alert and ready for when the doors to Target opened. I started to get thirsty, but again I didn’t have my Hydro Flask with me, because I wouldn’t be caught dead with some off-trend, low class water bottle.  

The time is finally here, the lights in Target opened like the lights of heaven. Everyone stood by the door, they had their running shoes on, crocs in sports mode and fanny packs by their side. The security guard grabbed his keys. He unlocked the door, and everyone ran inside. The security guard was trampled by everyone pushing and fighting to be the first through the door. I ran down the aisles as fast as I could, I had been training for weeks by going on six mile runs every morning. It got hard at times, but I remembered the pink Stanley cup I was fighting for and the glory of it, so I kept running and didn’t give up. 

I finally reached the Stanley cups, and wow it was a sight. Better than the Eiffel Tower or Empire State Building. It was screaming my name; I snapped out of my daydream when I saw a lady running for the bottle. I jumped into action and chased after her, I would be getting that water bottle no matter what. The lady’s hand reached for it, but I quickly grabbed the handle, she grabbed the bottom of the water bottle and tugged on it with urge. We yanked it back and forth; I was worried we were going to break it. When the lady pulled hard, I let go and watched her go flying and fall, the Stanley Cup hit the floor with a CLUNK, and I felt a wave of panic hit me. I stepped over to the lady lying on the floor and quickly picked up Stanley. I inspected it and made sure it was not dented. Thank goodness it wasn’t. this divine water bottle could have been seriously injured! I quickly waded through the fighting and groups running and made it to the cashier and paid for this water bottle; I carefully secured it in my Target bag and left the store. 

When I got home my kids were so excited to see me, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is posting my new limited edition light pink Stanley Cup on Facebook. I opened my app and before I could post my eyes spotted a comment, I felt my heart drop and my blood run cold. It said “Stanley Cups are out. Owalas are now in,” and this made the cogs in my brain turn. I had to have the new trendy water bottle this instant!  

I tossed my old and low-class trashy Stanley Cup in the trash and grabbed my car keys; my kids and husband were calling for me to come back, but it was time to search for the new Owala!