How The Grinch Stole Our Title...

Hannah Bonner, staff writer

Every Student in Schoolville liked Midterms a lot…

But the Grinch, who lived up the hill from Schoolville, did NOT!

The Grinch hated Midterms! The whole Midterm season!

Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be his college applications didn’t look just right.

It could be, perhaps, that his schedule was too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all,

May have been that his GPA was two sizes too small.

Whatever the reason, his GPA or his classmates,

He stood there on Midterm Week, hating the School,

Staring down on the building with a sour, Grinchy grimace,

At the warm lighted windows that marked all the classes.

For he knew every Student in Schoolville beneath,

Was busy right now, studying in peace.

“And they’re exchanging lecture notes!” he snarled with a sneer,

“Tomorrow starts Midterms! It’s practically here!”

Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,

“I MUST find some way to stop Midterms from coming!”

For tomorrow, he knew, all the School boys and School girls,

Would wake bright and early. They’d all grab their pencils!

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise!

That’s one thing he hated, the noise! Noise! Noise! NOISE!

When the School, top and bottom, sat down to their tests,

The pencils would scrape and they’d scratch and oh, the DISTRESS!

They’d draft out essays with reckless abandon,

And they’d fill in their scantrons in lightning speed-

Which was something the Grinch couldn’t stand in the least!

The more the Grinch thought of this School test-taking,

The more the Grinch thought, “I must stop this whole thing!”

“Why, for all these School years I’ve put up with it now!”

“I MUST stop Midterms from coming! But HOW?”

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!

The Grinch got a WONDERFUL, AWFUL idea!

“I know just what to do!” The Grinch laughed in his throat.

And he made a quick Principal tag and a coat.

And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Grinchy trick!”

Then he loaded a briefcase with schematics and tools,

And Principal Grinch started down to the now quiet school.

All the Students had gone home, snug in their beds, while visions of calculators clicked and clacked in their heads.

The Grinch came to the first door at the front, and he kicked it wide open with a quite Grinch-like grunt,

Then he went to the office of one Shearer, Chris,

And he opened the laptop labeled “DO NOT TOUCH THIS!”

Then he typed and connived and clicked and contrived,

And he deleted every word, number, and symbol in the school that night!

He deleted the math problems, he erased essay prompts,

He wiped clean the whiteboards, and stole every drop

Every drop of a letter, every hint of a test,

It all fled the scene- even our issue’s title, along with the rest!

That’s the end of the story, after Principal Grinch disappeared,

Midterms were cancelled, there were none that year.